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Soliloquy

Updated: Jul 21, 2021




Journal Entry

10am on July 15, 2021



My head was filled with thoughts earlier and suddenly my brain is blank. So I’ll take my laptop with me at the crag in case I find an opportunity and inspiration to write later.

For now, I have nothing to write about but maybe because I’m frightened of the 100-day challenge I put myself through so it paralyzes my idea generation. I wish I could train my mind to generate ideas on command, like really on command.


That's one of the reasons why I've always been fascinated and curious about flow states. It's like a state where you prime yourself to perform at your best with ease. This has always been where my best ideas come from.


OK so let's shift that for a bit. I have to train myself more so I can access flow state on command. That's more doable. I guess what I know now is still not enough.


I guess something always takes much more than you initially thought it would take, just like everything else in life, everything worth pursuing.


I should already know about this but I have to keep reminding myself of this though. I keep forgetting.


I feel like I can write better when I’m typing on my laptop’s keyboard than on the other Bluetooth keyboard I have. I feel much closer to my writing like there is no distance between me and the words as I type them. Much like actually writing the words down with a pen except I’m too lazy to do that any longer. I should still keep doing that because it’s a great feeling. Writing down on paper feels cathartic and satiating.


I’m excited to go again and try the 7b project that I did last week. I’m curious to see how I'd get on it this time. I climbed hard yesterday and I didn’t take a protein shake so I might be feeling way less than 100%. But I hope I still have it in me.

I’m excited because I’m going to focus more on my yoga practice these days. Although I love climbing, I won’t take it more seriously any more than I used to. I think it should just be something I do for fun. All the seriousness I should reserve for my work. Climbing is fun. That’s it. I won’t make an emotional investment in it and risk running out of bandwidth for work because I poured out all my energy and passion in climbing which leads me nowhere. It’s a fun thing to do--an activity where I get my high and access flow. But when it starts to stop feeling good anymore, I should stop.


What’s the point of climbing causing me sadness? It’s not like it’s going to generate revenue for me.

But putting all my efforts into my work will help me generate revenue. It allows me to do all the other things that I want to do. It allows me to earn money so I can do the other fun things that don’t generate revenue. It allows me to fund other projects that I want to pursue. This time, I have to learn to allocate my energy based on their value and importance in my life.

I also realized that I should learn how to share my thoughts and insights that come to me at scale. My initial ideas writing, public speaking, videos, podcasts, and interviews. I shouldn’t waste my energy and time on something that doesn’t lead anywhere. I should be an essentialist.


How I'd categorize my activities should be either they're purely for fun or purely to bring me closer to my goals. If it's neither or in between then I'm out. I mean, what's the point, right? We don't have much time in this world to just waste it. I should keep reminding myself of that.


I remember I should also not focus too much on my own thoughts but instead distill all the info I consume then produce them as content. Stop over-processing those thoughts and ideas. That is pointless and leads nowhere. So why waste?


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